Duckasauraus Rex

Albuquerque, in an amusing attempt at creating the illusion of biodiversity in the middle of the desert, has a little park in the center of the city called "Tingley Beach" that consists of a cluster of foul-smelling, man-made duck ponds.  While the park itself is kind of dismal, anyone who knows either me or Dean can understand its irresistible appeal: BIRDS. And lots of them!  So today we braved the 103 degree heat and the Albuquerque sun to commune with some ducks (and get rid of some Triscuit that had been sitting in our pantry for about 5 months now).

We quickly divided the birds into 5 major categories:

1.) The omnipresent Canada geese:

"Hi. Give me that Triscuit or I'll eat your fiance."

2.) Assorted cute ducks:

We named this one Pato. He followed us around and hid behind us whenever the geese got too rowdy.

3.) The Duckasaurus Rex (we had no idea that the scariest of the birds was yet to come):

This was right before he tried to eat my whole hand.

chomp chomp

4.) THE KNOBHEAD, truly the most terrifying of all God's creatures:

The Knobhead approacheth...

THE KNOBHEAD CONTINUES APPROACHETH-ING

The Knobhead, displeased that I've run out of Triscuits, sizes me up to decide whether I would make a good dessert. 

After trundling up to us and eating all the rest of our Triscuits, the knobheaded duck started to hiss and shake uncontrollably, bobbing its head up and down.  It looked like it was having some kind of duck-seizure.  Maybe it was some arcane display of duck dominance, but when it decided to reach down and take a chomp at my toe, we figured we should move to a different pond.  It seemed unfazed when we got up and tried to shoo it away, so I decided to put an end to the duck terrorism and started running directly at it, which finally made it retreat back into the water. Looks like the people aren't the only aggressive part of Albuquerque...

Oh, and of course, the 5th category of bird: "Other."

Hurr de durr I'mma piegon y'all!

Stories From Behind the Desk Pt. 1

I am one of the few lucky people who actually greatly enjoys her job.  I have the world's best boss, not to mention co-workers, and I'm actually learning cool new things on a daily basis.  That being said, the office where I work can sometimes put me in contact with some very... interesting people.  Today, for example, I had this gem of an interaction:

I was steadily working on a project and typing away furiously, buried behind my computer.  I was aware of some clients milling around the lobby, but wasn't paying much attention to them until a question directed at me brought me abruptly back to earth:

"So, honey, is your husband white?"

I looked around wildly, trying to see if the middle-aged woman standing in front of my desk was addressing me, or perhaps someone invisible standing directly behind me.  When I realized this incredibly random query was, in fact, aimed at me, I tried to answer as tactfully as possible.  "Well, I'm not actually married yet, but yes, my fiance is white.  Is... there a reason why you ask?"

She gave me a look of surprise.  "Well, it says here your name is Rebekah Bennett.  I just figured you must have married into the name Bennett, since you're clearly of Oriental descent."

I gaped at her for a moment.  Frantically, my brain ran through a list of potential comebacks:

Should I take the tack of the Self-Righteously Angry Politically Correct Snob?

 

I am SO OFFENDED by your racial insensitivity... I'm writing to my congressman. 

Or maybe the Militant Redneck Who Just Happens to Have Epicanthic Folds and a Penchant for Kimchi:

 Listen, lady, my daddy's family has been in Tennessee for nigh on 10 generations, and anyone who thinks otherwise can answer to the Walther PPK in my purse.

Or even the "I So Sorry... I No Speekidy Engrish!"  angle.

This one kind of speaks for itself.

I ended up just telling her that I did, in fact, come by my "white" last name honestly, and that only half of my ancestry could be traced back to the Hermit Kingdom. Maybe next time I'll unleash one of my inner personas... but then again, I would like to stay employed.